For the next several weeks, we will be operating on these hours: Monday - Thursday 9am to 5pm, with a lunch break from 1pm to 2pm each day. We will be closed on Fridays. Gena (of course) will be working even when the office is closed, but these are the times that the phones will be answered and the office will be open. We will let you know when we will resume our regular business hours. Thanks!
We will be closed until January 3, 2017 at 9:00 a.m. to spend time with our families and to refresh for the new year. We pray that you have a wonderful holiday season with great joy in your lives. We will see you in the New Year!
Happy New Year! As we greet 2016, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on 2015 and say thank you. Those who have been in my life this past year know that 2015 has been hard for me. My dad’s cancer overtook him, and he went to be with the Lord in September. During the last weeks of his life here on earth, I had the privilege of spending time with him, and by God’s perfect timing, I was able to be with him when he left this world. I would not have been able to do that without the graciousness of my colleagues, judges, staff, friends and clients.
The love, patience and kindness that was shown to me during this time is still with me today, and I wanted to say thank you. I was astonished at the capacity of my clients to show such kindness and patience despite that they were going through the most difficult times they had ever experienced in their own lives. Some of my colleagues helped me prioritize my life, and judges gave me time to meet my deadlines so my clients did not suffer. My staff endured this time graciously and for the times that I had to be out of the office, I rested knowing they were there.
I wish I could share with you all of the blessings that I received in 2015, but I’ll just leave you with this - Thank You! I am a better person because of the kindness and patience I experienced.
I am looking forward to 2016! I was able to wrap up many cases at the end of 2015 and finally felt as though I was getting my head above water. I know we still have a lot of work ahead. Please know that I am praying for wisdom to know how to serve my clients better and quicker. I make it a habit to pray for all those in my life, including my staff, clients, colleagues, judges and those in the legal system.
Happy New Year!
We are so grateful for the way in which we get to serve others. We hope that you have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year! As we do every year, our office closes for Christmas and the last week of December. We use this time to spend with family and to organize for the new year. We are sorry for any inconvenience this my cause you. We will re-open on January 4, 2016 at 9:00 a.m. We look forward to serving and working with you in 2016.
We are changing vendors for our phones and internet on 7/10/2015. Because of that, you are not likely to get through when you call. We are sorry for the inconvenience, and we look forward to serving you on Monday, July 13, 2015.
We are so grateful to serve our community. If you are one of our clients, thank you so much for having confidence in us. We really do want to do a good job because we care about our clients. A new year is almost here! We close our office for Christmas and the last week of December each year to spend time with our families and to organize for the new year. We will reopen on January 5, 2015 at 9:00 a.m. We will have limited access to email over the holidays, but if you would like to contact us while we are closed, feel free to fill out a contact form by clicking here.
We genuinely wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!
Are you divorced or separated and having a difficult time? Good Hope Baptist Church in Wake Forest, NC is hosting a DivorceCare support group starting Tuesday, January 6, 2015 at 7:00 p.m. We will meet in the fellowship hall every Tuesday at 7:00 p.m. There is no cost to attend this group. We will provide light refreshments and child care.Read More
Almost all parents love their children and would not do anything to intentionally hurt them, but parents going through a custody case often do not realize some things they do put their children right in the middle of the custody battle. When parents put their children in the middle, they are causing emotional and sometimes psychological damage to their children that will be with them for a long time. Judges are well aware of the negative effects of these behaviors, and will be watching these very closely. Are you putting your children in the middle? Here are some questions to ask yourself:
Are you talking about the pending court action with your children or around your children? When your children know there is a court case pending, they know that their parents (whom they love) are fighting over them. They worry about what is going to happen, especially with the parent who doesn't get primary custody of them. They will feel uneasy until the case is done, and in some cases, children have serious anxiety worrying about "court", which they don't understand.
Do you say negative things about the other parent where your children can hear? Sometimes you just want to vent, or maybe your child repeats something he heard at the other house, and you just want to react or defend yourself. What you may not realize is that when you say something negative about the other parent, your child is immediately faced with a choice - whose side do I chose? Your precious child is thrown into a deep conflict on whether to show loyalty to the parent who is saying negative things, which means betraying the other parent whom they also love, or to defend the other parent. Most often, a child in this situation internalizes the conflict and says nothing. Depending on your child's age, this effect could be serious and could have unforeseen consequences, such as teaching your child to be dishonest about his feelings or to be disrespectful to the other parent and therefore authority. Parents do not realize that this is hurting their children because children internalize the conflict and do not know what to say. Children want to please their parents, and being caught between their parents is an intolerable situation for them. Children are not emotionally equipped to handle this.
Do you ask your children where they want to live? Some parents have the idea that when their child turns 12 years old, she gets to decide where to live. This is not true. Even at 12 years old, children are not emotionally equipped to choose. Most parents do not realize that they cannot rely on their children's responses to the question of where they want to live. In that moment when you ask that question, your children just want to please you and want to keep conflict down, so they will most often tell you want what you want to hear. If they are being asked this question by both parents, it is very likely that they are telling both parents that they want to live with them. There may be a time for a child to express what he/she wants as it relates to custody, but this is very rare and only when the child is much older and much more mature.
Do you argue with the other parent where your children can hear? This causes the same level of conflict in their little hearts and minds as when they hear you say negative things about the other parent.
Do you ask your children what happened when they were in visiting the other parent or do you tell your children not to talk about what happens at your house? If you ask a lot of questions about what is happening at the other house, you are making the children feel uncomfortable, especially if they know you are looking for information that you can use against the other parent. In the same regard, if you forbid your child to talk about what they did at your house, the child may feel like she is hiding something and it makes her feel guilty. Sometimes your children just want to talk about their visit with their other parent because it was fun. To ask a child to keep secrets teaches a child to be secretive and untrusting, which will result in behavioral problems as the child gets older.
We know that you want to be a good parent, even when you are going through a custody case. The very best thing that you can do for your children is to come to an agreement with the other parent, even if it is not what you want, because even the best parents cannot shield their children from the natural conflict that comes from going through a court case. If after reviewing your case you know that settlement cannot be reached, you will have to be careful around your children, and make extra efforts to shield your children from the conflict. You will want to remind them that both parents love them, say positive things about the other parent (no matter how hard it is), and encourage them to love and respect the other parent. Parents who encourage their children to love and respect both parents raise their children to respect authority and will have less behavioral problems from their children later.
We have launched our new website which we hope will provide more useful and up-to-date information. Your feedback is greatly appreciated!